Random Questionnaire

I am still in the early phases of Blogging 101 and hope to improve services (no vouching for content) over the next few weeks. Meanwhile, I have had to return some techie equipment which leads to the following. . .

 Dear Consuming Consumer:

Because we have a tradition of strong communication (excluding person-to person contact because real people @#$%), please answer the following questionnaire immediately at our convenience.

Which of the following best describes your interface with Said Site:

A)   If you liked it you should have put a ring on it, wo oh, oh oh oh.

B)    Turnips, turnips, turnips, and no peas?

C)     My nose itches—is it bleeding?

D)    How can we trust AARP if it can’t do a thing about Bob Dylan?

If you are older than 35, your response has taken too long. If you are younger than 35, your credit rating weeps, absolutely weeps.

Because we are user-loser—oops, user-fiendly/friendly, whatever, please accept this special, for you only, discount, of 2.3% of any of your products (excluding the cool ones) valued $5000. Note the additional billing for services you didn’t know you used.

 Sincerely,

Products Without Functions